i just want to poor my heart and soul out, but im not sure where id begin. i feel like so much has gone on in the past month that i just cant keep up. my mind and heart/soul cant agree to anything my heart says yes but my mind refuses to agree.
first off.. my lovely aunt gave birth to the cutest human. wait did i mention i was pretty much in the room when the baby popped? ya i heard the baby cry its first cry, that was a very heart warming experience. i just cant wait to get married and give birth to my own.
/growing up// i do not want to grow up. i cry of just the thought. i wish i could just travel back and experience everything all over again, from my first nose bleed to my first love. id kill to be able to experience that all over.
/desi and i took a long drive, listening to my love, bon iver. i decided to show her where i have grown up, as we drove up to my old home, memories began to flood my head. {crazy i drove up there, we all grow up so fast.} i parked in my old neighborhood and tears immediately filled my eyes. i cried because i want to go back, i want to be a child with not a care in the world. i cried because i hate being old as fun as it is sometimes it can also be hell. i cried because i miss how i used to be. i cried because i miss my old pals. i cried because im a girl and we do that. i cried because its good for the soul.
//recently ive been feeling so horrid. in my recent past about a year ago i met an amazing fella. he is the funniest guy i know. last year he and i met at a mutual friends house, right off the bat he and i were homies, but too soon we rushed into a "fling" [you could say]. i felt like we really never had time to build a sturdy "friendship" a month or so later he asked me if i would ever see us more than just friends in the future.. i answered by saying .. i cannot. but at that moment i felt like i lost the closest homie. at the end of the year in may he and i started conversing again. the "love" started building up we hung out and it was great. the new school year started and we started seeing each other more often. we'd hang out and id love the flow, the vibe. i felt like i could be myself around him. recently we've been talking more about feelings and love. id think about it over and over, the thought would never leave my head. but the more i thought about it the more worried id get. i am so awkward when it comes to love and boyfriends and crap. i was never the friend with the boyfriends so i never knew how this all worked. we hung out this week and the vibe was great but this vibe i felt was a homie vibe. sitting around the fire, talking about life, playing the guitar, singing songs, riding motorcycles. it all was great, the night came to an end but the next moon wasnt too far away. that night was when i told him how i truly felt. my heart wanted to say yes to commitment but my mind just didnt want to agree. the question came up "why arent we official?" i had to tell him how i truly felt i cannot keep giving him false hope. i truly do love him but not the way he loves me. once i told him i immediately felt our relationship tear ive felt like ive crushed him. like ive let him down.. ive always felt if i didnt have a "fling" or an official relationship with him he wouldnt want to hang out with me. since then ive had an empty horrible feeling inside, i hate it. all i want is to sit back at that fire and keep talking till sunrise. but we all know i cant travel back in time.
im sorry. im sorry. i cannot say it enough.

Til later 

xoxo connie

8/18/13

the day after tomorrow,
will be the first day of my last year. its so surreal to think about whats coming up next. growing up, that's the answer! going to college, getting a job, moving out? its crazy I remember my first day as a sophomore I dreaded just the thought of going to high school. walking thru the doors in desperate need of finding my best friend, lost in the many halls of Orem, crushing on the seniors who were ALL so attractive. and now im here ending finishing my last year of school. this might sound a bit crazy but I  la la la love high school. the dances, football games, basketball games, assemblies, etc. if you say you don't like high school your lying. "this is OUR year. our LAST year." this is the year where you step out of your comfort zone. be YOU not being afraid of what people think. make new friends, quit being shy and make the first move. dress how you please without the thought of being judged.

 

 make this year last

 

 

 

make it YOUR year

 

 

8/20/13
 

Today was my first day. Woah. cannot be real. WHERE ARE ALL THE HOTTIE OLDER GUYS? other than the fact that the seniors from last year werent there today, it was still a blastin day. All day ive been in the greatest mood. I know for a fact that this year is THE year. im just so stoked to what is coming up this year.



step out of your comfort zone


ofa atu

xoxo connie






Yo.

Where to begin? I swear this week was full of unexpected surprises. For sneaking out to not having my homie around! May I say, it's been a good one! 

Since I'm such a "rebel" and all I snuck out with an old homie, Val. We haven't talked in ages, but when I first stepped into that car it felt like we've never stopped. Just went on talking about life like we'd normally do. Nothing's changed! 

Tragic story. So my sissy soul Desiree invited me to go to young women's camp with her. So enthusiastically I asked my parents if I could go, as stubborn as possible they said their favorite word "no". I was crushed. I didn't end up going. That week I had SO much to tell her. What a pain? Tell me about it.

Last Sunday, I was able to attend a place called "tiny tots". What's tiny tots? I'll tell ya. Tiny tots is a place were special needs kids live, either they're parents left them, they have jobs and will come and get them later, or what ever the situation is. 

These kids have such a happy spirit. As I was there singing to them with my young women. We were singing "I feel my saviors love" ( I'm pretty sure it was that song? ) as we sang I couldn't help but choke up a bit. I could feel the spirit so strong, seeing the kids smile. It was so heart warming. They are strongly looked over, they have the advantage to go straight to heaven with our Heavenly Father no matter what happens. When I was there I met this cute kid named "thane" he was simply the brightest kid. Just speaking to him, even though he'd say nothing back, he'd have the biggest smile. Laughing at my silly faces. Even though I didn't get to spend much time with him as I wanted too. I'm happy I came across his cute face, even if it was for less than 5 minutes! I'm lucky enough to be able to go back next week! My excitement can't be contained! 

Maybe if we knew what everyone was going through we'd be patient, loving and kind... but we don't so.. we should still be patient, living and kind. <not my words<

Stay chill, kids. 

Ofa atu.

love yo homie.

       Just for a laugh. 

      

Delicate.

I'm prolly one of the worst bloggers. Never know what to say or how to say it, but since I'm not gonna get any sleep tonight might as well blog something. 

I'm so excited to have a family of my own. Have little baby nugs, have a handsome man, cute little house. But wait at the same time I dread growing up! Me, being mature? Responsible? Wow that's a bit ruff. I'm way to childish to grow up, I mean come on I still sleep with my pillow pet. I don't want to leave highschool. right after is where it all hits! Reality decides to kick in for real! Not only is it cause I don't want to leave my childhood behind, but scared on what's coming! 

No to growing up. 

{ Weird that sometimes you don't talk to someone in like so long but when you do "talk" it's like you've never stopped talking. Still feeling just as comfortable. }

Delicate - damion rice. 

 listen too. Its a must! 

Lied I'm actually going to sleep, and I still suck at blogging,

xoxo 

connie

 

As we get older

i feel like as we start getting older things just become less important. For example Birthdays!! In my case I haven't celebrated my birthday in like 2 years. Yes we go out and go to our favorite food place. This year will just be slightly different, Ill be in youth conference celebrating it with my fellow Mormons. 17. Then again its not like I was going to throw a HUGE party. So I guess its chill.

So birthdays... my birthday is June 27 I'm turning 17. 1 year closer to death.... terrifying. Ever wonder about that? I do.... ALL the time.

Yesterday my homie friend came over and made a lovely mess in my room, since I wasn't going to be here she came and celebrated my birthday early with me! it was a good time!

 

Well sorry im quite the boring blogger but its fine with me. Never know what to say.... not creative.


 xoxo
connie

Late nights.

Late night listening to chill tunes. A thousand thoughts running thru my mind. Thinking about the future, going over the past. Don't you ever think how things would be if you would've done something different? I think of it all the time. Like what if I still lived in Provo or in Florida. How different would my life have been? Or from the small things like what if I would have made a left turn instead if a right turn? You'll never know cause instead of making a left turn you made a right turn, and you can't go back. Live for now. 

Here's a tune you have to listen too if you yet haven't listened to it. My all time fav "Free fallin'" by John Mayer. It's literally my go to song. Never will it ever get old. It's chill

Did I mention. I'm finally home from florida. It was a great trip spending every second with my gramps. It was bittersweet. 

This place was beyond beautiful. 

"Gonna leave this world for a while"

Till later dewss. 

xo

connie

Daddy

Happy Father's Day to my Daddy! I love that man to bits and pieces. He's the only person that I can tell anything to, without being yeld at or being misunderstand. I'm so grateful for him. So many sacrifices, and hard work. Ever since my Asian days we've been best friends. I was the first born since than I've been a daddys girl. He is seriously the funniest human I know! He says the dumbest things that make my eyes water of laughter! Even though my dads laugh is loud and obnoxious! That just makes what ever he said ten times funnier! 

I sometimes do/say things that just slip, but I can't take it back. In the end we always get over it. 

Today I didn't get to spend Father's Day with him (Miami trip) It feels lonely. I watched how my cousins hugging their dad, I was just thinking how I wish I could  hug him. Than I thought I should just be grateful that I have a dad. Others might not have one, or maybe they have a dad but he has passed or whatever it is. Be grateful others might not have what you have. Appreciate, respect, love, care for your dad. Let him know you love him. Actually let everybody know you care for them, family, friends, neighbors etc. I know for a fact it can put a smile on their faces. 

My main man.

My bestfriend.

Love you daddy,

Miss you!

Ofa atu 

connie

Buggy...

Since you don't have your cell I dunno how to communicate with you! 

So Call me? Tweet me? DM me? Facebook me? Message me on MySpace? Vine me? Comment below?

Just hook me up! 

sorry no point in this blog.

connie

Broken heart

This morning as my grandparents and I were eating breakfast. My grandpa talks to me about how one of his daughters, and how his feelings are hurt that she doesn't come over or even talk to them. After talking about the subject a bit. He talks about how he has colon cancer. He told me how last night his bag popped (he has a bag that hangs by his colon and instead of going number 2 in the toilet, he has the bag were number 2 goes to non stop) so he was saying how his bag broke last night and said how he was crying. Then my grandpa started crying, my heart tore. He try's so hard to always keep a smile on his face and just fight thru it, but this morning he just couldn't hold it in any longer. He's one tough cookie. Love my gramps. 

Also, i think im sunburned, but on the brightside my day consisted of soaking the Miami sun on da beach. 

We lost. It was quite a close game. Heat nation. 

Toodles 

Ofa atu

connie

The barn

To start off my night my main guy came and picked me up. Went on a chill long drive to a look out. SO perf. Just sat in the car looking over the view and just chatting it up. Than we were on the road again. ended up driving to "The Barn" Sounds sketchy? Yea it was too sketchy!  As my boo thang and I roll up. Everything around it is pretty much demolished, other than 2 hollow circular buildings (dont know what it's called) and the barn! So we pull up to it, graffiti all over. Guess what they all said? All of them had to do with cats. "Cat walk" supposably there's like a whole bunch of dead cats, but I saw ZERO. Bummer huh? Just kidding id die if I saw a dead kitty. So we explore the place, and there's this certain area that just REAKED smelled so bad, him and I thought there was dead cats but then again thought wrong!! So on this little adventure lets say I was  "the nosy girl" from all the scary movies! As much as I hate being scared, I love the rush, and simply exploring! It's a love hate thing! As I wanted to go explore more, the nug was scared to come across a dead cat, but I forced him to come anyway. (Didn't see anything) So we kept going on and heard cats meowing. We went to the hollow thingys and he stayed behind. I take out my handy flash light on my phone, to see what was inside. During this whole experience I was trying to play it cool, like yea I can totally go into the thing by myself, no biggie! I quickly run across and look inside, no dead anything. But what I did see was illuminati stuff, that scares me the most. Just brushed it off and kept walkin'. Here it is we approach the barn. Once again I had to act all chill and go in first! Let me tell you the inside was so RAD. I fell in love! Could take a real sick photoshoot there! (If anybody wanted one) The place was spacey and empty, graffiti inside and all. Too sick? Yea thought so! So him and I finish exploring the place and since it was by the lake, why not go to the lake??  we walk up, I was in front I thought the ground was solid, but I end up getting one foot stuck in mud. The shoes I was happening to be wearing were white chucks..... way to go. its okay that's the point of white chucks getting them dirty. Right? That was that. we left cause im the girl that has the curfew. All the way home we just fast and furious. Which means, F the Police. Good way to start off the SUMMER!

 

 

2 days till LIFT off.

 

So that's all.

 

sorry my posts are WAY lameoooo!

 

 

Till next time.

 

Ofa atu

 

 

 

connie

Feels

"You never know what you have till it's gone!" 

This quote can't be more dead on.  The special:fun:memorable moments enjoy them they are done just like that! Don't look back and regret something you did or didn't do. Enjoy it while it lasts. I sometimes do think what it'd be like if we were still friends, or friends I still have just aren't close anymore. I look back to the beginning of the year and see how different it is from now! Things do change. From hanging out at the Joyner residence everyday, or from watching friends all night to nothing pretty much. I've come to realize how you should enjoy the simple things in life cause honestly they/it can be gone in a blink of an eye.

It may be that I may not be a "good" friend, personally I think I'm not that bad. I can give you hell and annoy you like no one else, or I can make you pee your bed laughing but I can be the bestest friend ever. Being pushed around isn't any fun, I'd be the little dog running around doing things you'd ask, cause I just don't know how to say no. Enough is enough. I was over it, sometimes it's just too far. Why am I writing this?? I have no idea. Maybe just to get it off my chest? Maybe I just needed to type this down and let the cyber world know about shit they could care less about? 

I do feel like you've turned me into the "bad guy" people I know do look at me differently now. I do not know why. "3 strikes your out!" 

Also, I might not get the little signals. Like, be a good friend and talk to her/him or go ask her what's wrong. 

Yea suck at that, but when I do know if something's wrong ill try my hardest to put a smile on my friends face, there isn't anything worse then seeing a friend, family member, or just anybody sad! You always want to make it better! Don't be that person that makes that persons day worse! A simple "hello" can flip the switch! 

||| 

Ill just say it. I sometimes do miss you. You were someone I was a 100% confident with (most of the time). The person I've known the longest. Person I'd be with 99% of the time. Grew up together. Watch our favorite shows, be lazy as fuh, spoon all night long, sneak out of the house to see the boo thang of yours. Those were the times. "Shoooooot, ssssssssorrryyyyy." things just aren't the same. Love you, bubba. 

 |||

I'm just lost, Lost, lost lost, LoSt 

Lost

Lately I've been going thru hell so many dang emotions, it's like I'm a pregnant lady. Just so emotional, why? Don't even know. I just wanna lay in bed, watch friends, eat chips, and drink tea. Help. 

|||

Hugs, best thing anybody can give. Warm, and comforting. 

( I may or may not have mentioned this before not sure) Once at a dance concert I was watching the performance I glance to the side and I see the sweetest girl, her hands covering her ears, facing the wall. I just wanted to make sure everything was alright. I go over I ask her if she's ok? She looks up at me brightest whitest smile and says Im good I was just going over my solo. Thank you so much, you are the cutest!" Even tho I felt like a loser, it's better to be safe than sorry! Maybe she was just going over the dance but what if she wasn't? She could have been crying? Having the worst day? That hug could save a life. Everybody needs a comforting hug no matter who the fuss you are, everybody needs em!

|||

On another note. 

Congrats to the 2013 Graduates. 

You guys have been such a great example to many people. Can't believe all the smokin boys, and beautiful girls are leaving us. Making us (the juniors) seniors. This is so surreal, can't believe it! 

|||

Sorry. Should have warned ya. If you hate long random blogs  then tune out but I wanted to make you suffer. Not sorry! 

||| 

Sorry again for the vulgar language. 

|||

Till next time. 

Ofa atu. 

         > malia and I <

           > football boys <3

       > Anthony, Tina, desi, me, Monica drake<

         > Colton Joyner <

           > myself and desi <

    > me, Tina, Santa, Monica, Brandt <

         > desi, Tina and I <

          > myself and desi <

Countdown

I have officially started counting down to the days I leave.

I can not be more excited to tan, board, swim in my hometown sun. 

 

Imagine this ...... A nice iced chai, chill tunes playing, walking bare foot,soaking the sun, laying on a big towel, tanning on the Miami beach sand. 

 

Tell me that, that just isn't paradise. 

I can't contain my excitement.

Specially seeing all of the family members I have seen since forever. 

9 days til lift off. 

xo 

Copper

We've lost the cutest, most loyal dog known to man yesterday. Copper was sick, yesterday as the owner took the dog out for a walk copper collapsed to the floor. The owner ran over and knelt down next to him and prayed "if this is his time to go make it quick, don't make him suffer" copper took one last breathe, and he was gone. He wasn't mine but I loved him like he was. He's the kind of dog that you can just lay with all day, and play around. 

Love you copper. 

Rest In Peace. 

Insecure

Comfort all I need. I'm scared. 

Traumatized I'd say. 

Why? Why Would you ever? I'm so disturbed. 

It's 12 pm. I'm scared to go to sleep. 

I can't find the reason being. 

Crying. Terrified. Hurt

Broken 

chill blogging.

there's a little itch I have with people in general that don't mind there own business, and people that glare pissssssst me off. just stay out of mine and mind your own. thank you. keep the glares to yourself please. annoying much? yes. be jealous. be strange. but keep em to yourself no one needs to see that smirk, no one deserves nightmares. HAHAHA gee I can really make myself laugh.

on another note,

i am so obsessed.

i love love love Bon Iver.

it's like mad.

his music is so soothing and healing. goodness if you haven't listened to his music you are MISSING out.

i would kill to see him live.

his voice is so beautiful.

listen you'll fall in love.

 

bon iver one day I will see you live in concert.

 

anyways, I one day will also go to Coachella. one day will come. one day.

 

 bon iver

 bon iver

 bon iver

 bon iver

 bon iver

 bon iver

 bon iver

 bon iver

 bon iver

 bon iver

 

 

 

#friends that blog together stay together. can I get an AMEN?

thanks.

 

shout out to my main homie who I just heard fluff. {toot}

 

 

that's it for today.

 

til next time friends

 

 

ofa atu

much love

 

xoxo connie

 

Over it.

This month has been great but it's also been a drag.

So annoyed. I don't even know what's going on. Apparently, I'm untrustworthy, I'm careless, and not a good friend. Alright, say what you need....

What happen to "don't make peoples burdens harder" ?? Telling people not to trust me, thanks. Love you too?

Im so lost with everything.

over it

Summer come quick.
- night drives
- Miami trip
- camp outs
- birthday
- swimming
- beach
- boarding
- tanning
Enjoy the sun.

Peace skitch

Ofa atu


xoxo connie

Be of Good Cheer

 Saturdayyyy, it could not have gone any better! Get ready for a very detailed blog! 
I spent the whole day with my main nugget {Desiree Rogers} My day was so CHILL It all started off taking a nice shower and taking my dog on a daily skate around the park. Later on, that one girl came over,we got the keys and we were off. As we were going down the hill to kneaders, desis' eye caught that flag on the other side of the road standing on top of the hill. She came up with the BRILLIANT idea of visiting her baby bruvs JOAQUIN. So we quickly go to kneaders, as im telling them my order all I wanted, was either not selling anymore, or there were no more of it. So I just get two german brownies and one YUM chai tea with a bit of espresso! All of it so YUMMY! we leave, as desi is leading my were to go, we have to go up the sketchy hill up to the cemetery. Finally we arrive. we take out our brownies and lay next little Joaq. ive always felt really weird about going to cemeteries I would always feel bad stepping on there tombs. but laying their with my bestfran, and her little bruvs. I felt so at peace, the birds chirping, the sun on our skin, and the breeze thru our hair. it was so peaceful. as we were there I felt like I should read a scripture and so I did.

"Be of good cheer and do not fear for I the

lord am with you and will stand by you;

and ye shall bear record of me

 even Jesus Christ that I am the Son of the living God

that I was, that I am, and that I am to come."

D&C 68:6

 



Ive got this scrip marked as a comfort scrip and

it also happens to be one of my favorites.

 

We went on laying there as she shared her favorite memories with her brother, the little silly things that he'd do. sadly I never got to meet that nugget, even tho I never got to meet him, laying there next to him and hearing all about those good silly things. I wish I could have met him, I care for him dearly.

we finished up said goodbye and gave him a little kissy, and off we were.

 

once more we had to go thru that sketch hill.

Finally arrived home, took a trip to the park. Cartwheel on Cartwheels on Cartwheels, << cause I can do those now. We also played a couple rounds or Hands Up Stands Up. JOY.

Then we went on and helped prep for my baby cousins party! Even tho we couldn't be there for long we enjoyed it. Jumped in the bounce house, made and ate some yum yum cotton candy.

Then the time came we had to go to the General Young Womens Meeting. We went and picked up the other 2 that were coming with us. after that long ride we arrived at the city creek mall where we were parked. Me so starved not having eating since the brownie I had for breakfast. we all had to wait til 8:30 to eat! I was a bit moody.
as we got seated you can immediately feel the spirit. Thru out the whole session I did not stop writing in my journal so many things were said that were must write down. I loved it. in the past years id always dread going to these meetings, but since then I have had a change of heart. "stand tall and be not moved" stand up for what you believe, whats right. So beautiful "Stand Ye in Holy places"

The powerful meeting ended. Starved we found the nearest chuck-a-rama. Never felt so good to eat mashed potatoes and gravy. mmm mouth watering. Through out the whole night it was all laughs with Naomi, Desi and I. Heel clicks, singing along to songs in the most ugliest voices, it was just a good day for this nugget.

 

Now on to EASTER SUNDAY not much occurred woke up late and didn't make it to church, DARN. We decided to go to one of our favorite parks kiwani << I thinks that how you spell it. Anyways we go there set up our little picnic and ate away. We finished up and set up our blankets on the long green grass, and soaked up the sun. Daddy and I played some catch, so fun. I remember going to the store with my bruvs, daddy and I buying our first gloves. its very calming just throwing a baseball back and forth. any way later on instead of hiding our eggs, my siblings and I put on a baseball glove as my parents throw the goods we all get in front of each other and try to catch as much as we can.  then we got home and had to walk the dog. my bruvs, sissy and I took a ride to cascade. were I bumped into Ben what a homie! Such a sweet guy! as my brother walked the dog Ben and I chatted about life, then played some catch, why aren't I on softball? cause I suck!! ha jokes. then I left ben talking by himself, haha no he was there with his sibs. went home and watched the walking dead.
that pretty much sums up my weekend.
Sorry for such a LAME and LONG blog.
I feel like I have just written a NOVEL.
Sorry guys.

"Stand Tall"

Ofa Atu



xoxo- connie



My Horrible Addiction.

So ive been so caught up in this HUGE mess. Its called "Vampire Diaries" I am SO addicted! Its so MAD.     I love this show a little bit too much! I have literally been watching it 24/7 NO kidding ive been watching it at school., ALL day at home, EVERYWHERE I have to opportunity to im there watching it. Its all I have been talking too! ITs horrid I know, Its also NO good. Getting in trouble for watching it all the time. "Connie do your homework!" "Connie clean your room" "Get out of the house" Its been like that for a week straight!

That's all I had for today!

See ya Skitches

Ofa atu



xoxo- connie

Keep on chuggin'

Let's get straight to the point. >>> Don't let other people bring you down. Don't let no one bring your smile into a frown. No one deserves to be sad or crushed for the little things occurring now.
Always try your hardest to stay positive, Let it pass Heavenly Father has better things planned for you.
Trials are like storms eventually they'll pass, no worries. Unless you live like in a place were its always stormy and stuff... Then I dunno, sorry.

Honestly, life can be horrible sometimes but then the sun comes out and the best things happen!

>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<

 

 
Im so looking forward to this Saturday! Cannot be MORE excited!!

COLOR FEST im SO stoked!! Afterwards Young Women Conference! ive been looking forward to it for the longest time! Of course im going with my main Nugget and MA! so excited!

anywho I got the CUTEST journal!

Well that's enough.

Ofa atu
Till next time


xoxo- connie

 

churchyyyy

im SO crushed that I am not going to be able to go to my young womens camp this year! im also not going to be able to go to my youth conference.... im SO crushed and sad that im not going... im ALWAYS the more pumped up one at ALL those things ): {tears have been shed} my mom this morning told me "if heavenly father wanted us to buy the tickets then it must be for a reason, it could be to stay away from all the problem seekers here" maybe ive gotta go and miss out on these massive experiences {well its massive for me} Ive always loved going to camp. it was pretty much the funnest thing id do during the summer. well ill be on vacay getting a tan on so I guess it makes up for my camp probs...

"He that is faithful and endureth shall overcome the world" D&C 63:47
Hands down one of my favorites!

Mmmmm, recently I've been having problems with liars and not being able to trust people.
Liars, how I hate them. Quit it. You'd expect if you're so close to someone for so long that they'd be straight up about everything with you, but I guess not. You bum everybody sooner or later is going to find out about all of the lies. Sorry to tell ya.

Anyways, you know that moment when you want someone to read your blog, and they end up doing it but they tell you they did.... Yea uhhh... somewhat feel relieved but embarrassed cause they did.... Goodness >>> I'm just shooken!

Good night lovelies.
Happy Sunday

Ofa atu




xoxo connie

sundays.

well today as I arose early having to go to church for a farewell. waking up late because of our time being all changed making it 9 instead of 8! as we all rush to get in the shower, trying to get in first just so you get the warmest water! me being lazy I take YEARS to get ready! lay in bed, instagram, everything else but getting ready! finally I decide to get ready. I blow dry my mess of hair, put some mascara on, get dressed and im off.

we arrived at the church. walking in awkwardly as they all have their eyes on you cause no one knows who you are. you can feel the eyes watching you as you try to find a spot to sit. we sat down to hear what the soon to be sister missionary had to say. as she bore her testimony I couldn't help but get excited to when I get to go on my mission and serve my fellow americans! as ALL the other long talks went on it FINALLY finished. we were off to my sweet home.

as we go home my mom and dad had to go some place else. so I afford to make the food. my parents were planning on making fish! me not knowing how to cook I called her at least 5 times just to make sure im doing everything right. I wouldn't want to have them come home and have 'em eat some poopy uncooked fish. they come home and LOVE my cooking! so this officially means im going to become a chef when I get older! just joking I hate onions, tomatoes, and carrots! never happening!

as I finish eating I start looking thru my blog and I find this lovely blog called "Love Chugs" as im there reading her lately posted blogs. I fell in love with how she writes her blogs. only if I could write like that, but I have always sucked at writing, always getting an F in English.

as im now blogging john mayer has just been on replay! john mayer just marry me and teach me all your skills! I have ALWAYS wanted to learn how to play the guitar! I have only learned one song thanks to youtube and mr shwartz. I learned the beginning part of the song "banana pancakes" by jack Johnson. now that we are talking about music. I wish I would have never stopped playing piano. I could be playing like "betoven" but I quit cause my teacher was rude. now I just hate myself for quiting piano.

to just sum it all up... today has been SO beautiful! the sun is out and shining. I just feel like I should be at the park doing some family bonding. playing soccer, tennis, rolling down hills. can I just say Utah is beyond beautiful! I love it  here I wouldn't want to live anywhere else!


that's it for today

ofa atu



xoxo connie

Good day!

today might have started a bit rough, but as the day went on it couldnt have gone any better! today started off with the  horrible ACT test... couldnt have gone any worse. im pretty sure i probably got the worst score im terrified to get that chit back. as the first part of the test went on i was going smooth but then the teacher would say 5 minutes left!!! i still have like half of the questions left!! in my head "SHAT i who finishs a test that fast? time to BS the rest of it.." after those 4 dreading hours it was finally time to go home. YES!

Since desi and i dont have cars we otta find our own rides. lovely kid named keian gave us a ride. desi and him should just have kids already.... they are too cutie.!!!! 

as we got home we had NOTHING to do so i begged and pleaded to my mother to just let me go and buy something to munch on... since im not really allowed to drive... it was tough for her to agree but after ALOT of begging she finally let me go! des and i hop on in the car and take a drive to our local grocery store... haha. buy some hot munchie chit... took a little trip around orem.. 

got home and thought of a genius idea! RUN all the way to Canyon View! not the brightest idea! we got there just in time to take a breather! got there all ishy and chit! Got to see our little homies! made too much videos! just twerking in CVJH watevs. we pretty much had the BEST time there! old memories just rushinn back.. 

after that we came home and my mother brought up a trip to MIAMI. "Would you like ta go to miami with desi?" hellaaa! so this nugg is going to MIA with my brother and hopefully that chug i call my friend! gotta prayy err dayy she can! so much fun thatd be to just go on a 3 week vacay with you main nugg, sissy soul. Tanning errday, scooter rides on the beach, maybe even take some surfing lessons? creep on the hottie boys at the beach. 

i just have all my fingers crossed that she can go! 

well thats it for today! 

ofa atu

xoxo connie

2 love birds

Worst feeling.

You know that feeling where you let someone you actually truly cared about go, but you only realizing that once they are gone? Yea well a couple of months ago I realized that I let go of a guy who honestly was the funniest/sweetest/kindest/caring guy I've met. He was always knew how to put a smile on my face. Then I let him go. Wanna know why? Well cause I didn't want to kiss him. I told him "if we ever get together i honestly think it'll go no where" As I read that I feel like a total brat. This guy at the moment said "me knowing a girl over one year and knowing you for only a couple of weeks I chose you cause I thought it was going to be different" that just tore my heart. I tell myself "How could I let a guy like that that go?" but I did. If I could take all of that back I would in an instant. I apologize.

This guy was the closest to boyfriend I have ever had. Me personally, I was never the girl that was all with that dating/boyfriend thing. I'd just see my friends in relationships, and really never caught my attention.

Now just a week ago I realize how much I miss him. How much I miss those sweet ol' texts, and long phone calls. Seeing him walk around school, making eye contact makes me miss him just a whole lot more. When the song that he'd sing in the car comes on. Re reading our old conversations "good morning beautiful" dang how I miss that.

It's true "you don't know what you have til it's gone."

I truly miss you.
I'm sorry.

Bye for now.
Ofa atu


xo connie

My decision to serve The Lord.

A couple weeks back I decided that I wanted to serve The Lord and go on a LDS mission. I'm not sure if it'll change from now till 2 years from now, but right now I have made my decision. I first thought about it when my friend decided to go on her mission. Then later on a visit to the Washington D.C. temple I came across a sister missionary {that I have sadly forgotten the name of} she approached my goofing off young cousin as I walk over she asks if he's mine, I laugh and reply "no he's my cousin" she then introduces her self as I do too. This sister was from Europe having trouble understanding what would come out of my mouth she says "I'm new I've been here for 2 weeks" I ask "are you enjoying it?" she says "of course!! It has been the best decision I've made only being here 2 weeks I have already had so many spiritual experiences." I was fascinated she only being here 2 weeks and has already had so many spiritual experiences. I love that.
I wish I could actually have some experiences to just name my top favorites off the top I my head but as I was asked that question "share with the class some of your spiritual experiences" today in Sunday school, I had nothing to say.
I have no experience that I can just name. Listening to the other kids in my class naming some, but then I think, all of the experiences that they named off all involved prayer.
Then, I realize I lack prayer. I rarely pray. If I want to strengthen myself as a person, go on a mission, make my testimony stronger I have to dominate prayer. I've challenged myself to pray every morning and every night. So one day I can go on a mission.

I know the church is true. That we all go thru trials in our lives to make us stronger and better as a person. I believe that the prophet speaks for god and that the scriptures are the word of god.

My recent favorite
"He that is faithful and endureth shall over come the world" -D&C 63:47

I really have never bore my testimony in english ever, this would be the first. Not so sure how i did but anyways.

Right about now I feel like I should be saying amen, not sure if its appropriate but I will say it any ways.

& I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Bye for now.

Ofa atu


xo connie.

{ heart to heart }

Last night I had a deep heart to heart with my main chug Desiree. She now knows probably more than anybody knows of me. I told her things that I was terrified to tell others! There is such a relief telling someone things that you wanted to tell people but to scared of being judged. The the best feeing is the feeling of telling someone something and knowing that they aren't going to judge you! Desi has gone thru a whole bunch. I tell her that her life is tough, joking. But inside I'm being dead honest. She having to go from her dads house to her moms not being able to take anything from her moms house to her dads! She is such a tought cookie <3
Much love friends.
Ofa atu

xo connie

shat.

it is so hard for me to keep up with this blogging chit, even though I have so much to talk about i never think of going out and blogging it. shat. 

 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

my friend desi gave me a slip the other day that read “Hello (: I would just like to inform you that you are very attractive. Thank you. Have a nice day. (to keep this going pass the this slip to the next attractive person you come across)” well the other day during school I was planning on give it to a total hottie! As desi approaches him I stay back a bit and we planned this all good and it was going smooth till desi said “my friend has something to give to you “ as she said that I just froze. See Desi and I have sickness were you turn red and become frozen once a hunk starts talking to you. So im there totally forgot what i was about to say, so i awkwardly put my hand on top of theirs as they are shaking hands and say “uhh no I don’t”  him and i have the same class so as he has the door open i walk in saying “awkward” im just sitting there SO humiliated and thinking what i have just done. So embarrassed i just want to runaway to Kentucky and live in the mountains living off of my hunting skills and the backpack I have on my back. But thank goodness i got over it saying “he’s leaving this year so its fine.” I eventually got over it. Only if i could be one of those girl that didn’t even have to worry about those things and could just go up to anybody and talk to them about anything and not caring about how hunky they are but im not and i hate myself everyday because of it.  HAHA just kidding I don’t care im fine with how my body decides to react around them. (i really am not)

anyways thats it <3

later skitches. 

connie