Worst feeling.

You know that feeling where you let someone you actually truly cared about go, but you only realizing that once they are gone? Yea well a couple of months ago I realized that I let go of a guy who honestly was the funniest/sweetest/kindest/caring guy I've met. He was always knew how to put a smile on my face. Then I let him go. Wanna know why? Well cause I didn't want to kiss him. I told him "if we ever get together i honestly think it'll go no where" As I read that I feel like a total brat. This guy at the moment said "me knowing a girl over one year and knowing you for only a couple of weeks I chose you cause I thought it was going to be different" that just tore my heart. I tell myself "How could I let a guy like that that go?" but I did. If I could take all of that back I would in an instant. I apologize.

This guy was the closest to boyfriend I have ever had. Me personally, I was never the girl that was all with that dating/boyfriend thing. I'd just see my friends in relationships, and really never caught my attention.

Now just a week ago I realize how much I miss him. How much I miss those sweet ol' texts, and long phone calls. Seeing him walk around school, making eye contact makes me miss him just a whole lot more. When the song that he'd sing in the car comes on. Re reading our old conversations "good morning beautiful" dang how I miss that.

It's true "you don't know what you have til it's gone."

I truly miss you.
I'm sorry.

Bye for now.
Ofa atu


xo connie

My decision to serve The Lord.

A couple weeks back I decided that I wanted to serve The Lord and go on a LDS mission. I'm not sure if it'll change from now till 2 years from now, but right now I have made my decision. I first thought about it when my friend decided to go on her mission. Then later on a visit to the Washington D.C. temple I came across a sister missionary {that I have sadly forgotten the name of} she approached my goofing off young cousin as I walk over she asks if he's mine, I laugh and reply "no he's my cousin" she then introduces her self as I do too. This sister was from Europe having trouble understanding what would come out of my mouth she says "I'm new I've been here for 2 weeks" I ask "are you enjoying it?" she says "of course!! It has been the best decision I've made only being here 2 weeks I have already had so many spiritual experiences." I was fascinated she only being here 2 weeks and has already had so many spiritual experiences. I love that.
I wish I could actually have some experiences to just name my top favorites off the top I my head but as I was asked that question "share with the class some of your spiritual experiences" today in Sunday school, I had nothing to say.
I have no experience that I can just name. Listening to the other kids in my class naming some, but then I think, all of the experiences that they named off all involved prayer.
Then, I realize I lack prayer. I rarely pray. If I want to strengthen myself as a person, go on a mission, make my testimony stronger I have to dominate prayer. I've challenged myself to pray every morning and every night. So one day I can go on a mission.

I know the church is true. That we all go thru trials in our lives to make us stronger and better as a person. I believe that the prophet speaks for god and that the scriptures are the word of god.

My recent favorite
"He that is faithful and endureth shall over come the world" -D&C 63:47

I really have never bore my testimony in english ever, this would be the first. Not so sure how i did but anyways.

Right about now I feel like I should be saying amen, not sure if its appropriate but I will say it any ways.

& I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Bye for now.

Ofa atu


xo connie.

{ heart to heart }

Last night I had a deep heart to heart with my main chug Desiree. She now knows probably more than anybody knows of me. I told her things that I was terrified to tell others! There is such a relief telling someone things that you wanted to tell people but to scared of being judged. The the best feeing is the feeling of telling someone something and knowing that they aren't going to judge you! Desi has gone thru a whole bunch. I tell her that her life is tough, joking. But inside I'm being dead honest. She having to go from her dads house to her moms not being able to take anything from her moms house to her dads! She is such a tought cookie <3
Much love friends.
Ofa atu

xo connie

shat.

it is so hard for me to keep up with this blogging chit, even though I have so much to talk about i never think of going out and blogging it. shat. 

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my friend desi gave me a slip the other day that read “Hello (: I would just like to inform you that you are very attractive. Thank you. Have a nice day. (to keep this going pass the this slip to the next attractive person you come across)” well the other day during school I was planning on give it to a total hottie! As desi approaches him I stay back a bit and we planned this all good and it was going smooth till desi said “my friend has something to give to you “ as she said that I just froze. See Desi and I have sickness were you turn red and become frozen once a hunk starts talking to you. So im there totally forgot what i was about to say, so i awkwardly put my hand on top of theirs as they are shaking hands and say “uhh no I don’t”  him and i have the same class so as he has the door open i walk in saying “awkward” im just sitting there SO humiliated and thinking what i have just done. So embarrassed i just want to runaway to Kentucky and live in the mountains living off of my hunting skills and the backpack I have on my back. But thank goodness i got over it saying “he’s leaving this year so its fine.” I eventually got over it. Only if i could be one of those girl that didn’t even have to worry about those things and could just go up to anybody and talk to them about anything and not caring about how hunky they are but im not and i hate myself everyday because of it.  HAHA just kidding I don’t care im fine with how my body decides to react around them. (i really am not)

anyways thats it <3

later skitches. 

connie 

 

My dear friend Desiree Jasmine Rogers

I have this friend I met the beginning of my sophomore year, last year. Her name is Desiree Rogers. She has been such a HUGE example. Last year If I wouldn't have met her I'd be alone and friendless. Later that year a close friend and I argued and didn't talk for a long while. Good thing I had my main chug!

She and I should be comedians if you ask me. We are the funniest 2 alive. We can make the most boring sitch the funniest ever! We know how to have fun. Going to the annual football games, school dances, school, class. Anything it's always so fun.

She is my biggest example. Specially church wise! She is so spiritual and knows so much about the church. I wish I could just be half as great as she is. She's been saying that she wants to go on a mission. Giving me the wanting and hope that I can also go on a mission and serve.
LOVE YA DEZIRAYY!

See ya skitches.
Love Connie.